I have two stickers on my calendar as of today. One for yesterday, and one for today.
At some point in my past, I decided it would be an EXCELLENT idea to mark “good writing days” with a sticker on a calendar. I got the idea from someone on twitter. I don’t remember who, because I am rude like that, ha ha.
Anyway, I did really well with it at the time and finished the project I was working on. But since then, there have been some sticker days, yay, but more non-sticker days. Today is the first time in a long time that there have been two sticker days in a row. It looks nice.
I’m awfully melancholy though. It’s probably somewhat due to the playlist I’m using for this novel. It’s soulful and something my late sister enjoyed. This book is about sisters – identical twins, actually – and this playlist is perfect. The book is going to be melancholy too, I guess. I’m feeling quite a bit of the emotions of my characters right now, which is also causing my disquiet.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still in my good place. I really am. But of course, there always has to be SOMETHING, doesn’t there, or life would be awfully bland after a while. Like a good book, there has to be conflict. It can’t be beautiful weather every day, or how would we appreciate the gloriousness of a perfect day?
There’s so much I want to say, to write, to release out of my mind. To reach out into the silence of the internet and ask who hears me. Who understands me. Who knows me. Who loves me unconditionally. I used to have anonymous places where I could cry out. But I don’t anymore. I can only think my innermost thoughts in my head or whisper them to God. That should be enough. But right now it isn’t quite.
I guess I should stop. Sorry that this got weird.