Ben has a new job. He started on Friday and worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. He works from 6 am to 6 pm every day, or close to that, at least. It’s like in Midwest City or thereabouts. It’s not computer related. He’s a machine operator for a business that makes airplane parts. Ben R works there and that’s how he got the job. He could have interviewed there a year ago. But we kept thinking the mainframe job was just around the corner. Or the next corner.

I also wasn’t super excited about this opportunity because it is Aetna insurance. The insurer that doesn’t play nice with SSM Health, which is who almost all my doctors are with. Matter of fact, when Ben started job hunting, I said, “Take any full-time job you can find, but please try to not do anything with Aetna for insurance!” So here we are.

That hasn’t kicked in quite yet, so I am still seeing my regular doctors for now, and basically telling them goodbye. I will not be going to anyone new for a very long time. I’m still holding out hope that I do not have to part way with the entire support system I set up for myself. I can still pay out-of-pocket with my regular doctor at least a couple of times a year – I think that’s around $80 (we had to do this whole thing once before when his old employer had Aetna).

Ben hasn’t gotten paid yet. It is much less than what he made before, and that’s another concern of mine. The benefits we were receiving will stop. There will be cash, yes, but I’m not sure it will handle all of our needs, especially with medical co-pays returning to our lives. And now it feels like it would be weird to go to food pantries. He has a job. We need to make this work. Somehow.

However! I do know who can provide for all of our needs, and that is God! I sometimes forget to keep that at the forefront, especially when I am writing down what’s currently underway in our lives. but I know that He absolutely has this. And we will be completely fine (even though my vision of fine might not the same as God’s!)

We’re okay.

Thank you all for the prayers. Ben is still looking for something that uses more of his mainframe skills, so here’s hoping!

I have been going to Mustang in the mornings after I drop off Sarah at school, spending some time at the gym before going to the library to write. That’s where I am right now. I spent an hour or so on the novel, just trying to set up scaffolding stuff in Scrivener. This is going to be totally different than anything I’ve ever written, and I can’t really just write it down in a linear fashion by the seat of my pants. I absolutely have to have a lot of stuff set up ahead of time to make this thing happen. But when I am at the library with my headphones on, I can finally relax and get some work done on it. At home, I’m always tense, wondering who is going to come up to me and pull me out of my work to ask me to do something for them. And every little thing in the house that needs to be done also beckons to me. But I did this last week and I’ve done it this week, even though today I did not want to! A big key part is having to take Sarah to school. Then I’m already out so it’s not so hard to go to Mustang. I do have to look like less of a frazzled hag when I drop off Sarah though – there’s no going back home or I would just stay there!

I have a lot of things to do at home today. I need to reschedule all my PT appointments. They have been on Fridays, but with Ben working on Fridays I can’t do that anymore. I am very thankful he has been at home to help me with all this hard stuff with Mom and Sarah. I wish I’d been coming to the library and working a lot more in the past, but I suppose what happened in the past is what was supposed to happen. It’s okay. No ragrets, am I right?

So there’s that, and then I need to do DRS paperwork for Sarah and find out what Belinda needs to do for hers. I want her to try to do it herself but I feel I’m going to need to do some research on that before she dives in.

The other thing I need to do is resume scanning important documents. I was doing really well on that, and then the holidays came and it was all too much so I put that project away. I am trying to not only scan our important documents, but also all of Mom’s, and Mom has a LOT. I think that getting all of these scanned and uploaded to Dropbox and on my big hard drive is super important. I just really don’t want to do it!

With Lenora and Ben R no longer in the apartment, I do have some space free. I have been thinking about doing something temporary out there, with just the card table, to work on the scanning project. Separating it from everything else might be a good way to proceed. Everything I do feels so jumbled up in my mind right now. I need to organize my new novel and I need to organize my entire life!

Last thing, I’m reading the Dungeon Crawler Carl series and it is amazing.

This post was all over the place. That’s okay.