It’s almost 10 p.m. and I didn’t find time for journaling today. I went with Mom and Marissa to Guthrie…I hoped it would work out nicely for okietourist.com, but since all I toured was a Love’s restroom and a McDonald’s, I’m not sure it’s going to happen. The McDonald’s was nice though…maybe I could work something up…

Anyway, I committed to this thing and I’m going to do my best, even though this one is big enough that it should probably get more thought time than I can afford it. Ommmmm…come to be, big inspiration….

Describe an event that made you realize you were growing up.

I just don’t know on this one. Sound like a broken record, don’t I? I know there’s been moments where I have thought about how I have matured, but I can’t think of an event that really stands out in my mind.

You know that Bible verse…when I was a child, I thought like a child?

Well, I don’t remember really thinking like a child. I remember thinking about things and feeling things pretty much the same way I do now. Surely this isn’t true. I mean, I don’t play with toys anymore, and I don’t watch cartoons…except for good ones, anyway. So I have grown up in some regards. Matter of fact, sometimes I wonder why I don’t ever get down and play with the kids. I used to play with Krislyn and Kevin and Gary sometimes. I’d play on the playground or play Little People or Little Ponies with them. It was easy and natural. To play with my own children feels forced. I only do it when I feel like being really, really nice. I played with them in my early 20s. But by the time Lenora arrived, I didn’t feel like playing anymore. What changed?

I’m not perfect, but in many ways, I have grown up. I mean, I’m not a super grownup or anything. My mom’s a super grownup. She drinks coffee and doesn’t understand how I can enjoy seeing the newest Disney cartoon. I still have to pick the tomatoes out of my salad. How grownup is that? I have never drank alcohol. I have never smoked. I have had three children, so it’s obvious I’ve taken part in some adult activities, but will I ever be able to go in a store like Christie’s Toy Box without feeling like somebody’s going to rat me out for going in there, when I’m just a kid? Not to give you the impression that I am spending a lot of time in Christie’s Toy Box!

On the other hand, I am grown up enough to clean, cook, work, and do things that I don’t want to do. I am grown up enough to put other peoples’ needs (particularly little people) in front of my own. But I’ve always been sort of a giver-type person. It’s hard to define growing up when some of the behaviors and things I have always done.

I get very cross with Ben when he does things I do not consider grownup. Most of these things revolve around his involvement in the creation of some sort of mess in the house, and my thinking that being a grownup means not leaving your mess for somebody else to clean up. I am free to write this, because Ben has not read a single one of my journal entries, and I don’t expect him to start now, so ha!

Well, that about wraps things up for now. This is possibly the worst of the journal entries. Number thirteen, indeed!