Issues

So I’m having a bunch of stupid stuff going on my my life with now. Some of it is health related for me. Some is health related for family. One is health related for a far-away friend, which is resulting in me not getting to talk to this friend. That’s super stressful in itself, really.

I’ve been wallowing in self pity a little bit, but today I’ve tried to move my mind to other things and get some work done. It went reasonably well, except I did have to do some paperworkey type things for my health thing and certain family members kept haranguing me about things I felt a little overwhelmed to deal with. But I did get several things done for SCBWI that I’ve been putting off, and I got the downstairs part of the house fairly clean. Only about a third of the things on my to-do list are checked off, but some of those things have to wait until tomorrow anyway, so that’s okay.

I feel like a lot of things that have been happening to me will work their way into my future writing, so that’s at least a positive way to look at it.

In other news, I decided to listen to the soundtrack for Hamilton today, and it is amazing. I haven’t even heard all of it and I want to buy it already. I’m sad because I can’t listen to it now because I have company.

I also have an actual important blog post to do, for my friend Evelyn. I signed up to be part of the blog parade for her debut novel. It seemed like a really good idea when I did this, but now I’m afraid what I do is not going to measure up. I have no clear idea of what I’m going to do, although I might do better with that when my company is not talking to me about the things running through her head that are a little much for me to think about today.

I’m rambling. Time to check off the box next to “Write a blog post” and then work on the next one. “Write the parade post.”

#ok16scbwi

So. It’s February. Cold and wind and ick, right?

But today was different. The wind wasn’t attacking, the clouds were in hiding, and the thermometer was reasonable. It was a crazy seventy-four degrees today, so I went for a walk.

Even though I knew I was supposed to have already published this blog post, in anticipation for the conference. Whoops.

After all, the conference is sixty-five days away, right? There’s time.

But then…I went for my walk. And whoa it was nice outside. And suddenly, spring didn’t seem that far away anymore. Spring is just about here, and the conference is coming with it. And that’s exciting. But it also means that it’s time to dust off the manuscripts and get ready.

I just procrastinated here because this is such a rambly post, and went to twitter. Our social media coordinator, Valerie, mentioned that she was looking forward to some great animated gifs in this post. So I’m going to go find one now.

best croissant everBest croissant ever.

So, if you’re a procrastinator like me, you’ll really want to get going on this thing, because there’s less than a week before the deadline for paid critiques and pitch sessions and other awesome stuff like that. That deadline is Feb. 17. That’s seriously coming up.

You can check it all out on the Oklahoma SCBWI web site, and then get signed up.

Do that first. And then eat your croissant. But it won’t be as good as hers.

 

 

The last day of 2015

This has been a year that I will never forget. It was a year that brought me back to a season of joy – a lifting of my spirits and a peace that I hope, through the grace of God, will continue for many years to come.

This was the year that the goal was achieved. The year someone said, “Yes. What you are doing IS worthy. And we’ll meet that next goal together.”

This was the year I was blessed to be offered representation by my literary agent, Rena Rossner.

In the grand scheme of things, I really hadn’t been trying for all that long. Many, many people try to find an agent for much longer than I did. But I was still filled with doubt. I believed I had talent, but maybe it wasn’t going to happen. I’d been trying for several years. I had written six books. I just couldn’t get to the next step.

Here’s something I wrote early last year:

It’s 2015.

I’m starting to realize that I will probably never be traditionally published. I still don’t want to self-publish.

I guess I’ll be okay. I’ve written six novels that I love. But if no one ever sees them but my friends and family, them’s the breaks.

But I’m not me if I’m not a writer. This is what I wanted my entire life. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I know. Woe is me, right? But I really was hurting. And I wanted it so badly. I’m lucky. I don’t have a lot of experience with not reaching goals I’d set for myself. But it made it really hard to accept.

BUT…I didn’t accept it, did I? I kept repeating to myself something I’d read on agent Mandy Hubbard’s website long, long ago (Mandy was the first agent to ever request additional pages from me, for PAIRS). It said (paraphrased from memory): The only difference between a published writer and an unpublished writer is that one didn’t quit. Don’t quit.

Those little words were what I reminded myself of again and again. Even though it felt hopeless sometimes. Even though I felt alone and stupid and completely out of my league.

And now…I’m so happy. I’m ecstatic. This has seriously been the most joyous holiday season I’ve had in a very long time, and it’s because I’m so at peace right now. Having Rena as my agent is just so freaking grand that I can’t think of words good enough to describe it.

ive never been better

One year ago tonight, I was disappointed that I hadn’t reached my goal in 2014. I was frightened that I never would. And I was depressed about not achieving what I’d set out to do – to share my stories, and my characters, with readers. And now, as we slip closer and closer to 2016, I’m so optimistic. So positive. So ready to see what the future holds.

I know it won’t always be easy. I know there’ll be rejections, even at this step. And when I’m published, there’ll be negative reviews. Disappointments. Regret.

But tonight, that’s not on my mind. Tonight, I’ll relish the pleasure of accomplishing the thing I wanted most in 2015, and I’ll look forward to 2016 with a smile. No matter what comes next, I know that I won’t be facing it alone.

If you’re still working toward your goals as a writer (I still am, too!), then don’t quit. If I can succeed, you can too.

The only difference between a published writer and an unpublished writer is that one didn’t quit. Don’t quit.

<3

 

I have an agent!

IT HAS HAPPENED.

And I am so excited to announce that I am now represented by literary agent Rena Rossner of The Deborah Harris Agency!

yes

Every time I write that, it seems a little more real. It has happened!

But I already said that.

So.

Here is the story of how I got an amazing, perfect agent!!!

I went into this journey like many, with an optimistic attitude and a fresh new novel. First off, I was astounded that I was able to complete an entire novel at all. That was my sci-fi, PAIRS. And yeah, I still love it. And so did my betas.

But I didn’t get an agent with it.

But that was okay. Keep writing. Keep trying. So I did. I wrote THE LAST LETTERBOXES. I poured my heart and soul into it. And I queried that.

And I didn’t get an agent with it.

wait what 2

But I DID get chosen in Pitch Wars, an incredible contest ran by author Brenda Drake. Back in the olden days (2013), mentors in Pitch Wars selected a mentee and two alternates and helped polish their query and manuscript for submission to agents. And I was lifted out of the slush pile by the amazing, gifted Evelyn Skye, who helped me, and guided me, through a query revision and the first few chapters of THE LAST LETTERBOXES. It got SO MUCH BETTER thanks to her wisdom.

The first chapter was posted online, for agents to read and request. And request they did. I got ELEVEN requests, which was kind of a big deal. It was going to happen. Finally.

But…it didn’t. I got a lot of nice rejection letters.

And the nicest rejection letter of all came from Rena Rossner.

I teared up when I was reading it. She read my story (MY STORY!!) in one sitting. And it made her cry more than once. But ultimately, she thought she wasn’t quite the best person for it, and she referred me to a friend. And the friend seemed enthusiastic. So on we went.

But then…that agent never responded.

Okay.

So in the meantime, I wrote another book. Well, I actually wrote two, but one of those seemed a little more ready than the other. So I entered it in Pitch Wars for 2014.

And I didn’t get in.

I didn’t get in.

That was hard. Really hard.

Even though I knew not everyone could be picked. And I knew that the competition was amazing. It was still hard.

I was in a pretty dark place. So I did something to try to help lift myself up.

I read that old email from Rena. I reread how she had enjoyed the manuscript, and how she identified with the characters. How with a few tweaks, she thought my story had a great chance.

It had been more than a year since I’d heard from the agent she referred me to. And she’d been so encouraging with LETTERBOXES.

And I desperately needed some encouraging.

So I sent her CANDID DATES.

That was February 2014. In May, she requested the full.

And in June, she responded.

With a revise and resubmit!!

And the things she said! Like, if it was 20,000 longer she would have offered rep right then. And that she knew exactly what she thought I should do to get it to that point.

It was amazing!

And so I dove right in, right? Right?!?

Yeah. I didn’t. First, I had just started a new manuscript. So I thought I’d just get that out of the way. I’m a pretty fast writer – my first novel was done in about 21 days. And I was really excited about the one I was working on. Plus, another agent had a full of mine after we met at the spring 2015 SCBWI Oklahoma conference. And she had critiqued my first ten pages and chose me as the best of her conference submissions, and met with me. And I felt like we clicked. And she’d loved my first ten. So I thought I had a pretty good chance there. (And this wasn’t CANDID DATES. This was MAYBE, BABY, which I was incredibly swoony over at the time.) Also, revisions are HARD.

So I piddled around. Did a little here, and a little there. It was stupid. Incredibly stupid. This is what I wanted. What I’d been working toward for YEARS. But I’d had R&Rs before that hadn’t gone anywhere. Excitement that hadn’t gone anywhere. I really was losing my optimism. Even with an R&R.

But then an amazing thing happened.

Rena reached out to me. To ME. About CANDID DATES. In late August. Asking how revisions were going.

You remember those revisions. The ones where I basically had been thinking about it, but not actually putting anything down on paper.

So I patted the manuscript I was working on (YES, the same one, and YES, it had definitely been longer than 21 days) on the head and started work on CANDID DATES. Hard. For real. And that was September and October. (Yeah, that’s a long time, but it was like 27,000 new words and I homeschool my kids so be cool, okay?) My goal was to finish it before our SCBWI Oklahoma fall conference. And I did. With several minutes to spare. Seriously. I didn’t start packing for the conference until after I finished the rewrites. Which meant I had about an hour and a half to pack.

But I did it.

And then I sat on it some more.

Of course.

The conference was so good, and I felt so inspired. But I was giving the manuscript the old “wait a couple of weeks before rereading” treatment. I wanted it to be perfect when I sent.

And Rena reached out again, BLESS HER.

Because she was going to be in New York for two weeks, and she wanted to be able to talk about my novel with editors if she ended up offering me rep.

Whut.

I reread that bad boy IMMEDIATELY, corrected a handful of typos, and sent it off.

And after the longest eight days of my life, she offered representation!!!

AMAZING!!

I felt like breakdancing. I didn’t, but I felt like it.

Shot out the emails to agents who had my other stuff. No one had CANDID DATES, but I had some fulls and partials out. I even sent an email to the agent who had never responded to my other nudges. She didn’t respond.

But the others did! The congratulations and good luck passing emails came back in, nice and neat.

Except for one. A request for more time. And it was from…my dream agent. The one I’d had an agent crush on since meeting him at a conference in 2013. (Hey, just an agent crush, okay? He’s married. And I’m married.) But he was funny, and charismatic, and he liked my stuff. He’d had a couple of my manuscripts, always had good things to say, and always asked for more. I’d sent him LETTERBOXES. Because why not. And he asked for more time to finish it.

And this was a problem.

Because I talked to Rena on the phone and I fell head over heels. Her vision for my novel…the way she gets it…gets me…I don’t think it could ever be replicated. This was what I wanted. Exactly what I wanted.

But dream agent…

Did I mention that he’s consistently on the top sales lists for young adult novels? And he’s practically an icon in the industry?

And everyone I had let in on the secret kept asking. If he offers, what will you do? I tried not to think about it. To not put the cart before the horse.

To my overwhelmed mind, it looked like on paper, he was the obvious choice. But my heart wanted Rena. I really felt like she was the one.

And I’ve generally always listened to my heart over my head.

But I’m also a person who can’t let go of the past. I didn’t want to spend my entire life wondering what would have happened if I had gone the other way, regardless of the choice. I hate decisions. And somehow I’m the main decision maker in my house, which SUCKS. But this decision was a little different than buying a car or what color to paint a room. This one would be a life-changer.

And so I prayed. I prayed hard.

And my prayers were answered.

He passed.

His email to me was so complimentary, so encouraging, so warm and kind. No wonder I loved him for so long. (I still do, actually.) I teared up at the wonderful things he said about my writing. But he also said that it sounded like the offering agent was really excited about my work, and he would step aside for that.

And I couldn’t have been more grateful.

It happened just the way it was supposed to happen.

I can’t wait to get started.

The Crown’s Game!

Even though I have nothing to do with this, and nothing creative to add, I wanted to share the link to the cover reveal for THE CROWN’S GAME, written my friend Evelyn Skye!

I’ve read one of Evelyn’s manuscripts, but not this one, and I AM DYING TO READ IT. Go check it out!

Also, when you’re done oohing and aahing over the cover, stop by her website and find out how to preorder, see upcoming events, check out the extras (including the alternate cover artwork drawn by Evelyn’s sweet daughter), and join The Tsar’s Guard (giving you exclusive previews, reveals, and contests!)

 

Slump

In a bit of a slump lately.

sticker calendar

Every sticker means a good writing day. All those stickers mean I’m a winner. Unfortunately, the opposite also applies.

I got this sweet idea from twitter, to give myself a sticker for every good writing day. Of course, I don’t remember who I got the idea from (it was on a retweet from someone) but it sure sounded good to me.

So I finally flipped my Frozen calendar from the beautiful picture of Hans and Anna dancing together, from February (can I just mention how perfect it is that the calendar people put their picture on the same month as Valentines? Sigh.) Anyway, every day I did at least 500 words on my revision, I got a sticker. Most days I got more than 1,000, and some days were 2,000+, so even on the few 500 days it all worked out to some pretty good writing days.

Of course, I’m showing this picture because that was nearing the end of the streak. I wrote through the 12th, and then everything stopped. Just stopped.

Just like THAT

I did get one more sticker, for the 18th, when I met with my writers’ group for Friday writing lunch. Got a lot done. And the ending is so close on the revision that I can taste it.

But I’m still unmotivated to finish. I guess I have a lot on my mind. There’s a medical thing I’m dealing with, and money issues, and a new project I’m thinking about. I’m not 100 percent happy with one of the scenes I wrote in the revision, and that keeps weighing down on me too. There’s a million other things, but I know they’re all excuses, and even if it seems that all odds are against me, I really should just buck up and get back to writing.

hans pulls out sword

Yes. Because that’s what Hans would do.

And we all know that ended well.

Seriously, though, I don’t want to be that other Arendelle guard guy behind Hans, holding that spear but unable to move. Whether it’s a good choice or a bad one, I want to move forward. I want to attack my obstacles and fight to overcome.

I’m tired of standing still.