Thirty days of gratefulness – A Song

Today I forgot that I was going to do this. Then I happened to look at my fb memories and saw the post I made on being thankful in 2017. So that’s very good!

I’m thankful for a lot of songs! But I’m going to write about a very good one. The Fox. It’s hard to believe I have enjoyed that song for 11 years now. I remember the first time I saw it. I thought the guy in it was pretty funny. Another song by him popped up on my youtube page and I clicked that too. Stonehenge. I thought that was very funny. And I noticed that the guy in The Fox was actually two guys, since I’d only focused on Bård the first time I saw it, and Vegard was obviously a different guy in Stonehenge. That’s what really sent me on the deep dive.

I watched their music videos, then some of their live shows, then all the transcribed episodes I could find of I Kveld Med Ylvis, their late night talk show. Since then, I’ve stayed a fan, watching them in everything I could find. I’ve even spent a long time slowly learning Norwegian, so I can hopefully understand the stuff that’s only in Norsk…eventually.

My interest has also led me to other Norwegian artists, and a fascination with their culture. I’m hoping that one day I will get to visit Norway and see Ylvis in concert myself!

Enjoying Ylvis has really been fun for me. Their sense of humor strikes my funny bone and consists of some of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. It’s gotten me through some hard times. And I also love sharing it with others, even though no one else seems quite as passionate about them. My family does enjoy watching Ylvis with me, though.

Hooray for The Fox!

The Fox!

Thirty days of gratefulness – A Person

Day 2 – A Person

I thought on this one a lot. I’m thankful for a lot of people. Ben. My children. My mom. My sister. Her children. My late sister’s daughter. My son-in-law and future daughter-in-law. Ben’s parents’ Ben’s brother and sister, and his brother-in-law. And then there’s aunts and uncles and cousins and friends…

I thought I’d just pick Ben, and I am incredibly grateful for him. I’m not sure that’s the one I want to write about today though.

I then thought about Jesus, who is a person as well, but although I am also so very grateful for Him, that’s not quite what I wanted to write either. I mean…obviously I am grateful to Jesus. And also to Ben. But who to pick then? If I go with a close friend or relative, then I would feel like I was dissing the others.

And then I decided that I wanted to express my gratefulness to Michelle. I’m not going to put her last name because I haven’t asked her permission, but Michelle is in charge of our homeschool group. Michelle was running things when we first started homeschooling. We went as a group and found fossils in southern Oklahoma. Her daughter was much older than little Lenora, but she took her under her wing that day and was so sweet to her. I’ll never forget that. Lenora was so, so impressed with her daughter and instead of acting like the little person was an annoyance, she acted like she enjoyed every minute.

Michelle has been the glue that has held our group together. I wondered what would happen as her children all graduated from school – who could take her place? But then, she just continued. Through illness and other difficulties, she came back and ran our co-op once again after her youngest was finished. And now, her oldest grandchild is homeschooling, and is there at the co-op on Tuesdays. I don’t know if Michelle will ever stop. She is such a gift to our local homeschool community.

Michelle is smart, she’s sarcastic, she’s efficient, she’s organized. She’s great at leading others. She sees your skills and gets you plugged in where you can help and feel like you’re contributing. She somehow remembers everyone’s name. I can’t remember the names of people I’ve homeschooled with for years. I don’t know which kid goes with which parent, and I never remember anyone’s difficulties, trials, or victories. Michelle does. She is the very best kind of leader.

Without Michelle, I do not believe our organization would have even survived, much less thrived. I owe my children’s homeschooling journey in part to her. I honestly do not know if we would have made it without her. I’m not good at explaining it, I guess, but she’s so important, you guys. I don’t even know if she knows it. But she is.

When Marissa died, Michelle gave me a wall hanging that says “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” I still have it on my bedroom wall, above my mirror. It’s so true. I don’t remember every day, but I do remember special moments through our homeschooling years, and there are a lot of memories with Michelle. She has made such a difference in my life and in my children’s lives. She is truly a blessing for God in our lives.

I cannot ever thank her enough. But I am grateful. So very grateful.

Thank you, Michelle.

Thirty days of gratefulness – Something in the Room

Today on my facebook memories I saw that I did Thirty Days of Gratefulness posts in November 2017. I think that is a fantastic idea and I’m going to attempt it again. Here’s the image I am using this year, from Hella Mama Things:

Today is Something in the Room.

I am thankful for our TV. I know that sounds a little odd and materialistic, but hear me out. When Ben and I graduated college and got real jobs, we bought a brand new giant TV. It was a big box TV, 36 glorious inches, and it weighed a TON. We bought a big fancy wooden cabinet for it, with plenty of room to hold our VCR and all our VHS cassettes, plus room for a equalizer, our CD player, and cassette player. We had a few more spaces for electronics, so we picked up a record player and a super cool laserdisc player and added those to the cabinet. Oh, and we got the TV at Best Buy or something like that and made payments on it. This was an extremely expensive TV. Probably the most expensive one they had. I know it was the biggest. I remember that they also had 35 inch TVs, but we went for the 36. Just cause.

So, after a few years, plasma TVs became a thing. We did not buy one. Ben said as the technology improved, they would get much cheaper. Then the other TVs came out…was it LED? We didn’t get that either. We didn’t get a smart TV. We just kept waiting. Lenora, Bennett, and Belinda came along and we didn’t get a new TV. We just kept using the big old TV. When over-the-air TV went digital, we had to get converter boxes for the big TV, and also for the one in our bedroom, which I had bought at a garage sale when I was in high school.

The massive TV wasn’t always convenient, and it was also scary when I would catch a child climbing on the cabinet to get something off the top. They would be severely reprimanded and informed that they could DIE if that TV fell on something. I couldn’t even lift it. The sucker was that big.

But flat screens TVs seemed too expensive and too extravagant.

But then the old TV died.

So we bought the flat screen TV that Krislyn had, and didn’t want. And then a remote got thrown and then that TV broke. Like after a week. The flat screen turned out to be not as hardy as the big box tv, which could take flying remotes and also crayon drawings on the screen. So when I saw a listing on craigslist for another massive box TV, for basically nothing, we got that.

I don’t remember the year we finally upgraded, but I do know that we had a box tv for a very long time. A very, very long time. So long that when people would come to our house for the first time, they would comment on it. Like…wow, you still have a box tv? And…I haven’t seen one of those in a while. Stuff like that. But one Christmas we all received Visa gift cards. And we were thinking about what to buy and the suggestion came up to pool all the money and get a flat screen tv. I thought I suggested it but Bennett said recently that it was him, and I’m sure that he’s right. Anyway, we went to Walmart with all our shiny gift cards and had enough to get a fancy smart TV and an adjustable bracket to put it on the wall. And what a TV it was! Biggest screen we’d had yet, and so clear and easy to use. Quick access to Netflix and whatever other apps we had at that time. The kids could finally play their video games for four people instead of trying and failing to play together on a square screen. And no more letterboxed screens. Everything we watched was either letterboxed or cut off on the sides until the new TV. Not a huge deal, but pretty nice to have them gone. We all enjoyed the new TV, and we did that together.

That’s why I’m thankful for it. It has allowed my family to gather together and laugh together, and to cry together. We’ve watched old home movies, old cartoons, and crazy animes. While we watch, we laugh, and talk, and pause the show to look something up, and enjoy each other’s comapny. We don’t always spend a lot of time together, but the TV has been a way that we can connect as a family. I suppose that’s not something to be proud of, is it? Time spent in front of a screen? But we’re not sitting like zombies staring at it. We’re connecting, and sharing snacks and laughter, and just filling the same space…for a little while. With children already grown or almost there, I am thankful for any time we spend together as a family. This TV gives me more of those times. And I am thankful for it.

Final instructions

I got a call this evening from Children’s National. Her procedure is scheduled for 5 pm on Tuesday, and we have to be at the surgery department of the hospital, on the second floor, at 3 pm. She can eat and drink normally the day before, but will on a clear liquid diet after midnight, and nothing red or reddish. So she can have water, broth, gatorade (no reds), gelatin and popsicles (also no reds) and that’s about it. Belinda wasn’t thrilled to hear that. I wish the procedure was scheduled earlier in the day, so she wouldn’t have to wait all day to eat. But, it will gives us time to sightsee on Wednesday morning if we like, and I think she’ll enjoy that. I’ll have to make sure to pack a thermos for carrying around the broth that day. Our time is one hour earlier, so she will be having her procedure at 4 pm in central time.

She has a shirt that says Achalasia on it and it has a rating of one star. Under that it says something like “Very bad, do not recommend.” She says she’s going to wear it all day Tuesday, so she can roll into the hospital with it on.

There’s another family from the facebook group for parents of kids with achalasia that will be at the hospital that day as well. We’re going to attempt a meetup. It’s all loose right now, which is good. I’d like to meet them and let Belinda meet another person with achalasia but I also want to make sure I can focus on her.

Today we received the itemized statement from OU Children’s that shows everything we paid to them for this whole thing. The total they charged for Belinda’s care was $74K. Insurance handled most of that, but we paid our share too. And all of that was for just figuring out the diagnosis. I sent the first page of the statement to NORD. They said they might be able to reimburse us for part of what we paid. We’ll see what happens.

We need to pack. Instead I cleaned house the last two days. Things look a lot nicer here now, making me feel better about leaving it for a few days.

At least we tried

So today Ben called his former employer to ask if they would consider covering their part of the insurance premium and they said no. He asked if he could possibly use his PTO to allow him to stay an employee until Nov. 1, so he could still be considered an employee for insurance purposes. They said no and also informed him that his PTO would not be credited to his check, which someone told him it would be. So he loses 18 days of paid time off. He asked again for them to please tell him why he was fired and she refused. I told him we’d probably have to contact a lawyer if he really wanted to know, and even then they might not say. He said two other people from his department have also been fired or laid off or whatever.

Today he went to lunch with his co-workers, as a way to wish him good luck and say goodbye. At least the people he worked with are good.

We plan to take care of the cobra stuff tomorrow, after we get enough money in the bank. I scheduled all our eye exams and Belinda’s and my medical eye exams for November.

The person that was in the fender bender with Belinda in the Walmart parking lot a few weeks ago contacted me and told me how much the costs were. He’s trying to find all used stuff and he said he doesn’t want to involve insurance. I told him we’d probably have to because I wasn’t going to be able to pay for parts. I don’t even know if Belinda was at fault, so that’s also a consideration. From what I’ve looked at online, when accidents happen like that in parking lots, most people just take care of their own cars or use their own insurance. I don’t think we will be able to repair the damages to Belinda’s car.

Today I went to Chickasha and voted early. It took one hour and ten minutes from start to finish. I did not like how people with walkers and canes and a guy on crutches had to wait in line with everyone else. I think they should have a line for people who are in need. I wanted to give them all cuts but I didn’t know how the rest of the line would react, so I didn’t say anything. I’m glad that’s one more thing checked off before the DC trip.

In line outside.

In line inside.

While I was voting a diabetic man had a low sugar episode or something and an ambulance came and the EMTs worked on him in the voting room. We just walked around them to put our ballots in the machine. When people are needing medical attention after waiting in line for so long, you probably need to figure out an alternate way to do things.

cobra

So things aren’t quite as up in the air as they were before. We have decided to go ahead and continue our current insurance using COBRA for November. I have asked Ben to contact his former employer to see if they might be able to pay their portion of the premium for November, since Belinda has this surgery. He also has enough days of Paid Time Off that if they would agree to use that up for the rest of October and make his final day be in November, it could carry into the next month that way. I don’t know if they will be I think it would be worth it to at least try.

We also had several people from our church and circle of friends donate money to help us out. It’s not quite enough to cover the COBRA payment, but I think it is enough that we will be able to take care of the rest of it ourselves. Hopefully Ben will have a new job by that time, and if not, we’ll figure out something for December.

In other health news, we were getting ready for church on Sunday when Mom had some kind of episode. I’d never seen anything like it before, and it was very concerning. She lost her breath and had to sit down immediately, and she said her chest felt strange. It was also alarming because she had been out in her bedroom when it started, because she came directly into the dining room and sat, and she did not close either of the doors between her rooms and the dining room. She always, always, always makes sure those are closed because she doesn’t want the cats out there. But this time she left them both open. That was as telling as the symptoms that something was very wrong.
Karlene and Bennett and I took her to the emergency room in Norman. They did some cardiac tests on her but everything seemed fine. They gave us a referral to a cardiologist and sent her home. So we still don’t know what it was. I also wonder if she’s had these episodes before out in her rooms, and forgets about it by the time I see her next. It’s extremely possible. She didn’t remember going to the emergency room the next morning, when she was startled to find one of the leftover EKG sensors still stuck to her. So that’s just one more thing that’s got my attention right now.

Next focus – I am supposed to call a group I found online called the Patient Advocate Foundation. I sent them a query about whether they could help us financially with the COBRA payment, and they emailed me back that they could possibly do that but needed to talk to me on the phone and get more information. Unfortunately, I felt too busy on Monday to get that call in, and I tried just a few minutes ago, only to find out they had closed one minute before, at 5 p.m. eastern. So that’s my one of my goals tomorrow. Call PAF, early vote in Chickasha, and figure out what I’m going to write about for the Tuttle Times next week. That needs to be done early since I’ll be traveling to DC on Monday, my normal deadline.

I’ll be working at the theater on Thursday night, showing movies, but other than that, I don’t have anything big on my schedule for the rest of the week, which is good. Gives me time to pack and prepare for the trip.

Belinda at her first day back at homeschool co-op last week.

Mom in the emergency room. She was super cold and the nurses gave her many blankets. <3

A wrinkle in the plans

So I didn’t really plan on telling everyone this, but Ben has lost his job. Such a shock after 28 years with the same company. They wouldn’t even tell him why.

I’m not worried because he’s really good at computer programming and I know he will get another. However, this comes at a rough time since his insurance will end on Oct. 31 and Belinda’s surgery is Nov. 5. We have information for COBRA insurance, to continue the current coverage, but that will be around $1800 a month for our family. That is quite a bit higher than we can feasibly pay at this time.

We need to find out how much COBRA would be just for Belinda, and then seek out an alternate short-time insurance option for the rest of us. I believe Belinda needs to stay on the insurance because of the copay and out-of-pocket max already having been met. I don’t know how much the surgery costs would be to us if we started over with temporary insurance, but I imagine it will be more than just insurance her through COBRA. It is frustrating that we did meet those costs, and I was looking forward to taking care of more medical things in the next two months, and now that’s in jeopardy.

I also contacted the National Organization for Rare Diseases to see if there is any assistance they can offer, but I just emailed them so nothing yet.

Bennett is looking into the insurance offered at his job to see if doing his separately through his work would be a less expensive option. Lenora will not want to get on Ben R’s (her husband) insurance because she already checked and the SSM Health network is not on it, which would mean she’d have to leave our beloved doctor and all her other doctors (gyn, therapist, etc) which she doesn’t want to do. That’s why we left her on ours when she married, because she can still stay on it for another year or so. I just feel like I can’t do that to her when she has made such good relationships with these doctors. When aetna and SSM Health started not playing nice a few years ago, all of us either cancelled appointments or paid out of pocket for two months, to stay with our providers until we could switch health care plans.

I also looked into SoonerCare, since without Ben’s job, we would definitely qualify to get it for Belinda, but their website says they prefer people stay in the state for healthcare needs. I think we might have a fight on our hands if we try to explain that Belinda needs to go out of state because she needs a pediatric surgeon to treat her rare disease, and not just an ENT.

However, our current insurance also prefers in state, but somehow the DC doctor’s office was able to prove that she needed to travel for the POEM procedure, so maybe that would work? The issue is, there are no pediatricians able to perform the POEM procedure in Oklahoma, but I think there are pediatric ENTs who can do the dilation. But have they done the dilation on a patient who has previously had a POEM? The DC doctors know how to keep the scar tissue to a minimum, since this affects her every day and will continue for the rest of her life. It’s important that the doctors do everything they can to ensure her esophagus is in the best condition it can be.

I have not talked about this publicly before because I don’t even want to consider it, but everything must be done to prevent end-stage achalasia. From the National Institute of Health: end-stage achalasia (ESA) is characterised by failed myotomy, massively dilated and tortuous oesophagus with nutritional deterioration due to progressive dysphagia and vomiting. In these subgroups of patients, oesophagectomy may be the last resort.

I am trusting God but just reading that description brings tears to my eyes and makes my stomach drop.

Please pray, I don’t know what to do.

One more thing checked off

Good news, approval of the tour Belinda wanted to take at the White House arrived today! It will be the day after her surgery. Since it is at 10 am, we should have plenty of time to do the tour, have lunch, and make it to our flight at 4 pm.

Our hotel is only six blocks from the White House, so depending on the weather and how Belinda feels, we might be able to just walk over.

I appreciate Senator Markwayne Mullin and his office staff for helping us get the tour set up. Last time Belinda visited with his staff and we were given a tour of the Capitol (although we cut it short because Belinda was hurting from surgery.) I originally chose to request our tours through Sen. Mullin because he and my grandma share their small-town ties to Stilwell, Oklahoma!

Confirmation time

A lady from the Children’s National surgery deapartment called this morning to update Belinda’s medical records in anticipation of the dilation procedure.

She asked about allergies, existing conditions, covid history, etc. She confirmed Belinda had Ehlers-Danlos and then asked if she also had POTS. I said no, as far as I know. I have been looking at finding an Ehlers-Danlos specialist who could examine her (and hopefully me) and give us some more info on what the diagnosis means for us and what other issues we could have or face in the future. But they’re in Tulsa so I just haven’t done it.

I really should since we recently learned we’ve met her co-pay and out-of-pocket for the year. We aren’t going to have to pay anything for Children’s National this time. I also have set up a wisdom tooth consultation and I need to get the Ehlers-Danlos eye exam set up. There’s not much year left!

Anyway, they’ll call us the Friday before the surgery to let us know what time.

Good news for DC

I found a nonprofit online called Mercy Medical Angels, which helps people fly commercial for medical reasons. We applied and qualified, and I just got off the phone with a very nice lady from there. We had to pay a small amount to them ($55 for each round trip ticket) and then they booked the flights and paid the rest. Full price on the flights are $493 each, before tax and things. Both are nonstop Southwest flights between Will Rogers in OKC and Reagan in DC. The return flight will leave DC at around 4 pm, so Belinda and I should have time to visit the White House before we go – the only thing she requested for this trip.

The National Organization for Rare Diseases will be covering our hotel, which is just a few blocks from the White House. NORD may also be able to reimburse us for some ground transportation, but we will see how that goes. They restart at the new year, so they are almost out of funding at this point. I am thankful for all the help.

I also talked to someone at Children’s National, and we have met the deductible and max out-of-pocket for the year, so there will be no cost at all there. I’m glad Belinda is having this procedure now and not after January 1.

We will have to pay for meals and things on this trip, but most things are taken care of. This will free up money for her remaining medical bills and just help us to not be stressing over how we’re going to juggle all of this.

I really hope and pray that this will help with the additional issues she has had swallowing, and that it is smooth sailing from here with no more procedures needed for a while. But I want God’s will to be done first and foremost, and I am so thankful that He is lining things up for us financially.

Belinda is also having some stress issues, with her college classes and this being her senior year of high school. She was in a small fender bender at Walmart last week (seemed like it was one of those unavoidable things) and that is also giving her a lot of anxiety and stress. Please pray for her to feel better mentally and emotionally as we prepare for this trip and surgery.

I am including a pic of Belinda from Saturday, holding a chicken on the porch with her grandma. She wasn’t feeling great that day, hence the Snuggie.