Category Archives: Belinda

Identify five of your favorite conversations from this year

Posted on by
Reply

I thought these couldn’t get any worse but here we are.

“December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year” has done me dirty once again with this one.

Identify five of your favorite conversations from this year.

I do not know how I am going to even begin to think of favorite conversations. I am starting to doubt the authority of the person who created this. What credentials entitled them to create this calendar and take over my life for a month?

Anyway…I don’t know. I have a lot of fun conversations but not a lot of deep conversations, you get me? I love texting and emailing, so I can go back and see things again. I don’t remember a lot of day to day stuff. Does anyone?

We have had such a year. The last 12 months have been such a roller coaster with so many huge life changes. I do know that some of my favorite times this year have been with family, especially when the whole family comes over and does something together, like play trivial pursuit or another game. Also when we do things like the medallion hunt or go for walks or watch a movie. These are my favorite times. I also am really happy when Belinda comes home for the weekend, and when Bennett comes for lunch because Mia is at work, so I get to spoil him with his comfort foods. It was also wonderful when Lenora and Ben R were in the apartment and I got to watch podcasts with her. And when Sarah is so happy to see me after school! And when Karlene and I went to all the football games together, and then we got to see them win state together! These were very good times.

So instead of conversations, which are only words, I’m going to choose to remember the feelings that I had those times, and all the joy they brought me. I love my family so very much.

Washington DC

Posted on by
Reply

Yesterday Belinda and I flew into Washington DC and today we went to Children’s National for her procedure. It was an endoscopy with possible dilation (they did that). We are here because she still goes to the pediatric surgeons that performed the POEM procedure for her achalasia.

So yesterday we got to the room and didn’t want to do anything. After a while we bundled up and walked to Domino’s and got pizza. Belinda did not wear gloves and her hands were so cold! I considered giving her mine and then I did not.

Beautiful view from our hotel room

This morning we called an uber and got to the hospital early. We went to see the chapel and the Healing Garden, which were underwhelming. But I’m glad I saw them because I had wanted to see them for a long time. There is allegedly something on the roof as well, but I wasn’t brave enough to try to find that.

We were in the waiting room for a really long time. I wrote a poem that didn’t rhyme, after an abandoned yellow crayon under a chair piqued my interest.

Waiting

Anyway, I made a bunch of notes of the day, mostly so I can keep the facts straight and remember which doctors and nurses worked on her (which came in very handy today with the phlebotomist).

Belinda told Dr. Kane that she had no symptoms and every thing was good and I told her to really tell him, and then she talked about how things were getting stuck sometimes and how she was having spasms. He told her that stress can make achalasia worse. So when she was unable to swallow in the cafeteria at school, that made her have to regurgitate, which made her even more anxious the next time. I am very thankful the school released her from the meal plan. I cook and freeze meals for her, and she makes herself an egg for breakfast every day.

Anyway. The nurse came and talked and talked. She was very nice but it was a long chat! We were both getting tired. Then the anesthesiologist came in, and he checked out Belinda’s veins and then she said not my hands, please, and he said what about your foot and she said sure and I DIED but he got it onthe first try and Belinda wasn’t even bothered. I felt nauseated but made it.

Shot in the foot time

Dr. Petrosyan came by to say hi. He and Dr. Kane are both her surgeons, and they performed the POEM together. Her last scope and dilation was also with them. Today Dr. Petrosyan was the surgeon who was doing all the emergency surgeries. We talked about languages a little with him. He knows Armenian, Russian, and English. He’s very smart!

So it took a bit longer because the consent form didn’t include the dilation, and so the nurse couldn’t let her go to the OR until that was fixed. So Dr. Kane fixed it, Belinda signed it. She was glad to get to sign it twice because she got her digital signature to look better the second time.

Dr. Kane said everything looked great and the dilation they did was very small, but they of course did it while they were in there. It looks like it went from 9.4 mm at the narrowest point to 12.0 mm. So that will be nice for her.

We got an uber back to the room and I had thought we might go to the Botanical Gardens this evening but she just wanted to order food and rest. So we got fettuccine and had it delivered. I’ve never done that before and the cost was horrible. Too cold to walk tonight though, and getting an uber would have been more expensive.

Tomorrow we are supposed to meet a senator in the morning. Then the art museum or library of congress or natural history. I’m letting her lead.

Catch-up

Posted on by
Reply

Well I got very behind on my December journaling. But now Belinda has had her procedure, we are up on the ninth floor of the Washington Plaza Hotel, and I thought I could at least attempt to do this thing again. My last day to do the journaling calendar was Dec. 10 and now it’s Dec. 16, which honestly isn’t as bad as I thought it was. So.

Day 11: List as many places you went as you can think of, no matter how close or far.

I actually went quite a few places this year. Thinking, however is generally more difficult. I remember going to Branson with Krislyn, Karlene, and Belinda because Krislyn was invited to come dance there. That was very cool. Most of the family went to Milburn to have a remembrance service for Sarah’s stepmom. And Karlene and I went to several away football games to support Sarah in the band. Then to Alva several times, and now Belinda and I are in Washington DC. I’m going to go back and look at my facebook and see what I forgot.

A fire truck is going through traffic circle that our room overlooks and it was so loud that I got up and looked!

Anyway, back to the travels. In January, it wasn’t really a trip but I did go to Yukon several times as Bennett got married to Mia. It wasn’t a trip but it was so very important!

In March we went to Roman Nose State Park in Watonga and hiked and geocached. It was just one day during spring break but was horrible and also fun.

Alva in April. Krislyn and I also walked 10.4 miles in one day on the OKC trails. That definitely counts as somewhere I went.

We went to Lindsay quite a bit, which felt like traveling because it was a long way. Belinda’s co-op met there and I might have opted out if it hadn’t been senior year. I’m glad we did it! I love all those people. Also, I got to visit that non-grocery-store-Walmart and that was nice and nostalgic.

June was when we went to Branson! We also went to see David at Sight and Sound Theatre and played dinosaur mini golf. It was an extremely good time.

Ben and Belinda and I went to Gatlinburg, Tenn. in June for Belinda’s last dance nationals. It was difficult and we used credit cards to make it happen, but I couldn’t bear to not let Belinda do her last year of competition. We did make a lot of good memories. We walked a lot, went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not and the Ripley Aquarium, played mini golf, visited the Great Smoky Mountains State Park, went to the Gatlinburg library, and did other fun stuff along with dancing. That was a really good time. I never posted on facebook about it because I was waiting for the professional pics and when they came I still didn’t get around to doing it. Maybe I’ll make a post soon about it. I really should.

We were back in Alva a few times in August, to get Belinda’s adjustable bed moved in properly and also to drop her off at the dorms.

Karlene and I started going to away games for football in September. We went to Noble and ate at Kendall’s for the first time. We also went to Deer Creek and Yukon to watch band competitions and we went to Alva again, for Family Day.

October was Milburn, and we also went to band competitions in Edmond and Elgin. Karlene and I went to football games in Tecumseh and also Madill (we stayed the night there at a weird motel). Homecoming at Alva was also in October. We came in second in the medallion hunt!

And now it’s December and Belinda and I are in DC. We are here for two more nights and we are happy to be here but also really want to be at home.

So that was very very long to be part one of FIVE in a catch-up post. And I also wanted to write about how the procedure went today. Maybe I’ll just do one more.

Day Twelve: Milestones, traditions, and events you celebrated.

Bennett and Mia got married.
Belinda graduated from high school.
Belinda started college.
Lenora and Ben had their one-year anniversary.
Sarah came to live with us!
We celebrated Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I’m sure a few others, as we always tend to do.
And the Tuttle Tigers won state and Karlene and I were there screaming in the stands and freezing our hind ends off! That was cool.

Day Thirteen: People you had dinner with.

Well, that’s odd. Ben. Lenora. Ben R. Bennett. Mia. Belinda. Sarah. Mom. Karlene. Krislyn. Kevin. Gary. Will. I know I ate lunch with Rachel once. We hosted the wedding rehearsal dinner with pizza and big salads, so we did eat with everyone who was in the wedding party. We had Adam over for lunch once. I think the church lunch thing fizzled out sometime in the spring, but before that we had many of the kids’ friends. Those were fun times.

Day Fourteen: Recount the first three memories that come into your head from the year.

Hmm. Branson. Bennett and Mia’s wedding. Belinda going to college.

Day Fifteen: Describe an ordinary day from the year and what about it you enjoyed.

I’m not sure what days I remember that were ordinary. I tend to remember the things that are memorable. And what makes a day extraordinary? One day the kids came over and worked in the yard and I wasn’t there and when I came back the sidewalk was really edged and when the sidewalk is edged it makes me feel super happy. I think about that every time I walk up the sidewalk and I feel very loved.

Day Sixteen: Identify five of your favorite photos from the year on your phone.

That is a lot of photos. I take a lot of photos. I guess I will look at the ones I tagged favorites.

That didn’t take as long as I thought it would.

One week to go

Posted on by
Reply

A week from today will be Monday, Dec. 15, and Belinda and I will be traveling to Washington DC again for another follow up procedure. Her pediatric surgeons will be doing an endoscopy and will probably also do some dilation or other tweaks to the surgery, based on what they see in there. That will be on Dec. 16.

I am looking forward to seeing Dr. Kane and Dr. Petrosyan again. They are both so kind and they care so much about their patients. It is amazing to see how committed they are to helping kids with pediatric achalasia! I am glad that even though she is 18 now, she can continue to be their patient for the time being. This is the very best course of action to prevent end-stage achalasia and esophagectomy.

The spellchecker on wordpress has alerted me that esophagectomy may not be a word, but unfortunately it is. Anyway, that is the surgical removal of the esophagus. If things go as we’re hoping and praying, she will never get to that point. Please keep this in your prayers!

The surgery was originally planned for Dec. 17, but they needed to change it because of some kind of work being done on their surgical suites. So instead of us leaving on the 16th, we’ll leave on the 15th. The worst part about that is that we will be missing Sarah’s first band concert, and I really wanted to be there to support her. I’m going to try to facetime, but of course that isn’t the same. I’ve asked the rest of the family to do their best to go, which I think will make up somewhat for me not being there, but she does really want me to be at her activities first and foremost and I want to do that for her! I know she will understand that this couldn’t be fixed, but I hope that she doesn’t have a part of her mind telling her that I chose Belinda over her. It’s difficult because she has had so much loss and disappointments in her life. I just literally got an idea while typing this – maybe the band director would let me sit in class the day before, so I could listen to it live that way! I think he might. I’ll ask him about that (if Sarah wants me to – she also gets embarrassed at being singled out).

So now we have seven days to pack and plan for our absence. I’m always frightened of flying but I know that it’s in God’s hands and I don’t really have control over anything anyway. If it is His will, we will be back home on the 18th, ready for one for weekend of Tuttle Christmas Carol performances and then Christmas!

The people you’ve spent the most time with this year and what you did

Posted on by
Reply

I’m getting more annoyed with these each day. I mean, I’m not mad at them or anything, and I’m going to keep attempting it, but I don’t feel like “December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year” is really giving me amazing insights. Then again, I’m not going to make up a calendar like this for others people to work through, so I shouldn’t be complaining.

The people you’ve spent the most time with this year and what you did.

My family. The end. Ha ha.

No, but, that’s who it is. It interests me that I’m sure the person who wrote out these questions didn’t expect for all the answers to basically revolve around family. It makes me curious as to who that person is and what their life is like.

I spent most of my time with my family. Mostly Ben, Mom, Sarah (in the house peeps), then Belinda (home most weekends and I wish it was more but I know she can’t realistically do that), then Bennett, Mia, Lenora, Ben R, then Karlene, then Krislyn, then Gary and Kevin. I actually probably see Karlene the same or more than my married children. It probably varies.

Outside of the family I’d say it would be my church family, and then…I don’t know. Used to be the SCBWI group, but I don’t get to those things as much as I used to. I do go up to the school and see them somewhat frequently.

But as far as what we did, we just did what families do when they are together. We watch movies, we eat food, we play games like trivial pursuit and bananagrams. We played Bible trivia the last time we did that and it was fun.

The person I spend the most time with is Mom and she is driving me crazy. I bought her a cozy mock turtleneck dickey and first she said it was great, and then she said she was too hot and that she was frightened and was very upset. So I took it off and left her with only a regular mock turtleneck dickey and now she is way too cold and keeps coming back and asking me for the other one, and I’m not going to do it because it will make her too hot again. I gave her a throw to cover up with while she watches TV. It’s hard for me when she interrupts me when I’m working on something and focusing, but it’s even worse when it the same thing back and forth.

I’m looking forward to being with Belinda in the hospital and having a break from being here, honestly.

Anyway, that’s what we do.

The specific places you frequented this year and memories

Posted on by
Reply

I guess I forgot to do “December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year” again yesterday, so I’ll post date this one too. I don’t know what happened – yesterday was busy but not any more than usual, as far as I can remember. Anyway.

The specific places you frequented this year and memories.

Well, I know we went to Alva quite a bit this year. I guess some of those, like the Miss Cinderella pageant for Belinda and the Ranger Preview she went to were actually last year. This year I know we went there several times, but I don’t remember all the details. We went to the administration building to sign some papers at the financial aid office. That might have been during the Spring Showcase, but I didn’t remember that Belinda went to that, since she went to Ranger Preview and it’s basically the same thing twice. We also went to Northwestern when she got her bed installed in her room and then a couple of times to move things. Then we were there for Family Day and for Homecoming, and all of those had nice memories. Family Day had a scavenger hunt that was not like the homecoming one, alas, but we did it anyway and also had Taco Village and went to the little luncheon they had (even though we’d already had TV so we didn’t have room for chicken alfredo). It was still nice visiting. And then for homecoming we got to see the homecoming sign that Belinda did the lettering for, and we also did the big scavenger hunt and came in second by just minutes – but we had a fantastic time doing it! Sarah also got to tour the campus while we were there for Homecoming, and she thinks she might like to go there for college.

We also went to Gatlinburg over the summer, for Belinda’s last dance competition, and that was a really good time. The only thing I didn’t get done was posting photos because I was waiting for the nationals dance photos to post, and so I didn’t get those on fb because time got away from me. And now I’m trying to remember if I ever downloaded the nationals photos! I’ll add that to my to-do list to check on. I thought I would post those for the one year anniversary of the trip.

Same thing with Bennett and Mia’s wedding pics. I was waiting because I wanted to let them post the ones they wanted to post first, so I’d know which ones Mia liked best and could just follow her lead, but again, time got away from me. I am definitely posting those on their one-year anniversary (which again, I need to start planning asap because that is a lot of pics to look at)!

I spent more time than I would have thought at Mia’s family’s church, where the wedding was held. Her family has begun a theatre right at the church, and I’ve gone and seen Bennett and Mia and the rest of the family in several productions. And of course we’ve frequented our church a lot. And Fourth St. Theater.

I have also frequented Walmart but I don’t think I’m going to put any memories of that here, ha ha.

Memories from the year that make you smile, no matter how ordinary

Posted on by
Reply

It’s the first Saturday in December! We are now 10 days out from Belinda’s procedure. Time to think about packing and things like that. I was a little concerned with how to pay for food while we are in DC (I’m working to get insurance to pay a per diem, but that will still be reimbursed after and we don’t really have cash on hand), but I found that my snap card will work there, so that’s a relief. We can at least go to a grocery store or little convenience store to pick up food that we can heat up in the room. YAY!

So back to “December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year.” Today we have Memories from the year that make you smile, no matter how ordinary.

My brain isn’t what it used to be; I’ve had brain fog since I had Covid in December 2020, and although the curcumin is helping, it’s definitely not what it was. So it’s difficult for me to think back on things. But…I do a reasonably good job at keeping up with facebook posts and a fair job of keeping up with my livejournal, so I can look back at those memories and see what that triggers!

Okay, first thing that came up from my livejournal (latest posts first) was from November, and it definitely made me smile.

Copy and pasted right from my lj —> Yesterday afternoon we played trivia after cake and ice cream for Mom. I got a few that I was very proud of! I knew Exxon Valdex, lorem ipsum, and a few others that I sadly can’t remember now. I should have kept notes, lol. But I was mostly proud of this one: The question was who said at the OJ trial, if it does not fit, you must acquit? I knew exactly who it was and I couldn’t think of his name! I could think of OJ Simpson, Kato Kaelin, Marsha Clark. I even came up with Mark Furman, and then I remembered in the movie I watched about it, the John Travolta guy saying “Bob” very disparingly, so I thought it might be Bob something until I finally realized now, that was Robert Kardashian (Ross from friends was him in the movie). I knew I could get it but my poor brain can’t do anything anymore! So I sat and thought. I had to put my fingers in my ears to concentrate. And then someone mentioned South Park. Lenora said she thinks it was her, saying 6-7. And that made me think of a song where the person was mentioned. I could hear the song going “I got OJ fre-e.” And it was South Park. No…no…it was Book of Mormon! It was Spooky Mormon Hell Dream! So I started singing it and then I got to the part Genghis Khan, Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler, JOHNNY COCHRAN! Hooray! It wasn’t even for a pie but oh how proud I was that I came up with that!!!! And Travolta was Robert Shapiro and I had to look that up after and I had to look it up now but I got it!

Before that, it was how happy Sarah was when the band did such a great job at competition, and she hugged me, and thanked me for making her do band! That was very very happy!

I also smile when I remember being at Northwestern when we were helping Belinda get moved into the dorms, and the kids wanted me to take a picture of them – Lenora, Bennett, and Belinda, sitting on her bed. And then I turned around and took a picture of the always good sports, Mia and Ben R, who were leaning on the wall behind me and waiting for their spouses.

Oh! And Bennett and Mia got married this year, on January 25! That makes me smile and I also smile at how they decided to marry that day and it was my parents’ wedding anniversary. It made me very happy to see Mom’s wedding topper on the groom’s table (it was also on the cake at Lenora’s wedding, which was also happy but was last year.)

Right now I’m smiling while I’m in the dark car in the parking lot, typing on my laptop using my hotspot. I’m waiting for the Christmas musical show that Bennett and Mia are in to begin. Bennett wanted me to drive him here ahead of time, so I did that but then I had a couple of hours before the show started. It’s been very nice to just sit here in the dark listening to Christmas carols on the radio. Ben is giving Will a ride home from the hospital and Sarah is with Mom, another good thing. [Edited to add that I found out later that Karlene actually ended up coming over to sit with Mom, and Sarah got to go to rehearsal after all!] I’m very glad I get to support Mia and Bennett at their performance, especially because they’re both sick but the show much go on. I’m also thankful that Krislyn let Ben miss rehearsal last night and is letting Sarah miss it tonight. She is such a help with the Mom caregiver thing. So is Ben, Karlene, Sarah, Kevin, and Gary. And Lenora and Ben. And Bennett and Mia. And Belinda!

I have such a joyful, blessed life. I do complain quite a bit, but I really shouldn’t. This life is very good.

DL D’OH

Posted on by
Reply

I got another bill from DLO, about Belinda’s testing for allergies. This was supposed to have been taken care of months ago. It was another of those things that were denied because Healthcare Highways kept popping up as Belinda’s insurance, so the Soonercare would be secondary insurance, so they denied the claim. I had already talked to DLO and to Humana Healthy Horizons, multiple times, and I felt like surely it would be fixed by now. The letter said it was going to go to collections.

So even though Thanksgiving is right on the horizon and my hands are super full, I picked up the phone and called again. The lady I talked to was super nice, and she said she could see where Healthcare Highways had been taken off Belinda’s account. She said it was going to be sent to Humana Healthy Horizons again and it should be taken care of now.

I hope so!

Also, just as a reminder, when it comes to Belinda’s health insurance (and mine):

HH=BAD
HHH=GOOD

What a difference an H can make!

Blessings

Posted on by
Reply

We have been very blessed. After I posted my update, several friends have reached out, offering food, financial gifts, help with our drafty home, job leads, and prayers. Someone anonymously paid our entire propane bill. I was able to get the emergency utility assistance for the majority of the late electric bill, so that wasn’t cut off. We still owe on that, but at least our electric bills are much lower now that the heat of summer is behind us. I am so thankful to God for our family and friends, and to other resources that can help us through this.

Ben had an interview last week that was absolutely perfect for him. He said that he felt better about the way the interview went than the others he’s had. He also has former co-workers who work there who recommended him, which I’m sure will help. They said they hope to know something by the end of the year, so he is still looking in the meantime. I do hope that this job is God’s will for him. I think he would be very happy there! And the benefits would be comparable to what he had before, which would be so nice. I asked for prayers about that tonight in church.

Belinda will be home on Friday. She wasn’t going to come home this weekend but then I remembered she has an appointment with the Oklahoma Department of Rehabilitative Services. My sweet cousin told me that this might be a good resource for Belinda. After we find out more on Friday, I’m going to look into applying for Sarah as well. I think this will end up being very helpful for several of us.

Sarah had a wonderful birthday this week. We went out to eat the day before, for pizza, and she had her best friend there with her. This was our first time to meet her, and she was such a nice girl! The next day, I sent balloons up to the school for Sarah and got her a pin to wear that said it was her birthday. She was nervous about standing out like that but I wanted her to get some happy attention! After school we went and picked up her driver’s permit, and then that night we had her friend over again with the whole family and we had cake and ice cream before opening presents and then playing Bananagrams and Uno. We were only missing Belinda, who had to go back to school on Sunday afternoon.

Belinda had another deer go in front of her car today, but it was far enough ahead of her that she was able to safely brake and let it go by. She had gone with some other students for a charity project to help at the animal shelter in Enid, and the deer crossed the road on the way back. When she comes home for Thanksgiving, she is not coming until Wednesday so she can come in the morning and not drive at night. I have heard that the deer are everywhere this season and I believe it. I have seen so many on the side of the road!

I have been thinking about going and picking up some black walnuts. I’ve tried this before, but it didn’t go well, but I watched a video and I think I might be successful this time. We shall see. The pecans are almost ready on our tree, and I am watching those closely so I can give the squirrels a run for their money!

Sarah has next week off from school. She is so ready for a break. I am also looking forward to just having a week of more rest.

Slight change in plans

Posted on by
Reply

I just got a call from Children’s National and something is changing in their operating rooms and they’d like to change Belinda’s procedure to the 16th. So I just sent emails to the flight charity and to NORD seeing if we change our flights and hotel reservation. I actually asked if we could just change things from Dec. 16-18 to Dec. 15-18. I figure the flight will not be an issue but I don’t know if NORD will just let us add a day like that. But it would be very nice to give Belinda an additional recuperation day before we fly back. So we’ll see what happens.