Author Archives: Regina Garvie

Favorite Thing You’ve Read This Year

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Well, it is the 28th. We have left DC and had Christmas and it’s almost New Year’s. I’ll make another post with the last day at DC in it. I don’t think there will be much. Also, I’ve probably forgotten some, 10 days later. I’m glad it was only 10 days. It felt like more.

So. “December Journaling if You Feel LIke You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year.”
Day 18: Favorite Thing You’ve Read This Year.

It’s funny that I didn’t do this, because I was looking forward to this one. I guess everything was just so busy there for a while, and I was also having difficulty charging my laptop (I think the plug brick/base thing was not working right. This year I read more than I have in a while. It was hard, not gonna lie. I did it because I am in my friend Evelyn’s book club and even though I missed several of the last few meetings, I still kept up with reading the books. Even if sometimes I finished after the meeting. I’m hoping to do better this year.

Sometimes I also got other books I’d heard about while I was at the library, or I grabbed them when I saw them. I also got recommendations from Belinda. I went to quite a few libraries this year. I also still have a book that needs to go back to the Oklahoma City Library, boo.

According to my Goodreads, I had a goal to finish 20 books in 2025, and I read 35 books! I got confetti when I went to the site just now! Those books were: Good Girl, Bad Blood by Holly Jackson; Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell; As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson; The Fall to the Climb: A Mother’s Account of Grief, Faith, and Healing by Chrissy L Whitten; Do You Hear What I Hear by Helen Dunlap Newton; When Stars Come Out by Scarlett St. Clair; The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton; Bird by Bird by Anna Lamont; Maggie: Trapped in the School for the Feeble Minded by Dr. Lynn Phillips; Seven Days in June by Tia Williams; One Two Three by Laurie Frankel; The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins; Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins; Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday; The Martain by Andy Weir; Never Saw you Coming by Erin Hahn; Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt; Letters from the Dust Bowl by Caroline Henderson; The First to Die at the End by Adam Silvera; All Better Now by Neal Shusterman; The Book Club for Troublesome Women by Marie Bostwick; Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan; The Survivor Wants to Die at the End by Adam Silvera; Orbital by Samantha Harvey; A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf; The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah; The Incredible Kindness of Paper by Evelyn Skye; Where She Went by Gayle Forman; The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley; Shattered Showers: Stories by Rainbow Rowell; Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties; One Year Ago in Spain by Evelyn Skye; The Yellow Wall-Paper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman; The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman; and Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.

I also read If I Stay by Gayle Forman and Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White, but I guess rereads don’t count for your Goodreads totals. And I read the Bible but I didn’t read it all this year.

I don’t think I’m going to pick a favorite. All these books were my favorites.

Library of Congress

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We got to a slow start this morning because Belinda wasn’t feeling well. But around 11:30 am, she started feeling more up to going out and seeing some things. We talked about uber or metro, and then ended up walking the 2.2 miles from our hotel to the Library of Congress. Belinda wanted to see the books!

We went to the Jefferson building, and you have to sign up to get inside. So I got online, signed us up, and inside we went! There were several displays and galleries inside, and the artwork on the ceilings was beautiful.There was also a big beautiful Christmas tree. But Belinda said, “Where are the books?” At one point, we went to an area where you could look out over the area where the books were. There were librarians and a few patrons in there. Hmm. Then we saw a sign that said that you had to apply for a library card to use the reading rooms, and it had to be done in advance. So we scanned the QR code, filled out the quick forms, and found someone who could tell us what to do next! Nice that Belinda is 18 now so we didn’t need to print out anything for me to sign for her to have her own card. The lady made sure that we had already signed up (we didn’t mention it was five minutes before) and then sent us to check our coats and bags, then down three long hallways to an elevator. We rode that that, then asked the man there what to do, and he sent us to another room where we showed our drivers’ licenses and they took our photos and gave us our new library cards! They expire in 2027, which is a good thing since after our walk my hair looked like I’d stuck a fork in a toaster. But how cool is that!

We went in to the reading room at the Jefferson building. You can’t take any books off the shelves yourself – you have to look up what you want and tell a librarian and they get it for you and you read it there. They have a lot of genealogy things there and I have wanted to see Library of Congress materials before but never knew how to do it. Now I know!

Belinda wanted to see the law library collection most of all, so we left the Jefferson building and went across the street to the Madison building. This building was much more quiet and there were no tourists (except us, ha ha). We figured out the layout, checked our coats and bags, and went and found the law library. Everybody was so nice there! The librarian helped Belinda find the section on Space Law that she asked about, and the bookshelves were all pushed up together but they came apart with a crank on the side (it was seriously the coolest thing ever) and then she left us to that section – you can take books off the shelves yourself in the law library. Belinda got a Space Law book and I selected one on Maritime Law – the law of the sea (for all you Arrested Development fans out there). We found a cozy place to read and it was nice and quiet, with other patrons browsing, researching, and readings.

After looking at entries on shipwrecks and piracy, I became weary of maritime law and picked up the Library of Congress magazine on the table in front of us, and that was really interesting. I discovered that there used to be a tunnel between the Jefferson Building and Congress, so the Congressmen could have quick access to the library holdings, but it was closed when the Capitol Visitor Center was built. And that got me thinking about National Treasure and 39 Clues type of things, and how much I would like to read a book that included some sort of exciting secret with that tunnel. I guess I should write it!

We never ate lunch, so we went to a place called Good Stuff Eatery and had chicken strips and fries. We sat up on the second floor and the place was empty except for us and we looked out the windows and all the people coming and going. I have been guiltily getting chocolate milkshakes lately from McDonalds (I had no idea they had gotten so good!) and so I really wanted a chocolate milkshake, but they also had a toasted marshmallow flavor and so I got that. It was okay, but I think the chocolate shakes from McDonalds are better! I guess I like all those fake ingredients, I don’t know.

At home, the family was having a funeral for Nutmeg. Belinda and I were sorry that we couldn’t be there, but glad because we did love on her while she was with us. Sweet kitty.

Anyway, we took an uber back because it was getting dark and we were tired. The man who drove us was from Ethiopia. We haven’t been making small talk with any of our drivers but this man took the lead and so we chatted with him. It was interesting learning about his life and we told him a little about Oklahoma. He was surprised to learn that no one really honks their horn much in Oklahoma, and that we felt personally victimized when people honk their horn around us. He said there’s so much honking in DC that it’s like music to him, ha ha! We had to pretend to hear him sometimes over the noise but we did okay.

Now we are back in the room and hanging out. It’s nice to just be with Belinda.

Identify five of your favorite conversations from this year

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I thought these couldn’t get any worse but here we are.

“December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year” has done me dirty once again with this one.

Identify five of your favorite conversations from this year.

I do not know how I am going to even begin to think of favorite conversations. I am starting to doubt the authority of the person who created this. What credentials entitled them to create this calendar and take over my life for a month?

Anyway…I don’t know. I have a lot of fun conversations but not a lot of deep conversations, you get me? I love texting and emailing, so I can go back and see things again. I don’t remember a lot of day to day stuff. Does anyone?

We have had such a year. The last 12 months have been such a roller coaster with so many huge life changes. I do know that some of my favorite times this year have been with family, especially when the whole family comes over and does something together, like play trivial pursuit or another game. Also when we do things like the medallion hunt or go for walks or watch a movie. These are my favorite times. I also am really happy when Belinda comes home for the weekend, and when Bennett comes for lunch because Mia is at work, so I get to spoil him with his comfort foods. It was also wonderful when Lenora and Ben R were in the apartment and I got to watch podcasts with her. And when Sarah is so happy to see me after school! And when Karlene and I went to all the football games together, and then we got to see them win state together! These were very good times.

So instead of conversations, which are only words, I’m going to choose to remember the feelings that I had those times, and all the joy they brought me. I love my family so very much.

The morning after

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Belinda doesn’t feel well this morning. Her chest and her throat hurt. This didn’t happen after the last time, so I wonder if she might be coming down with something. She might have also slipped off her incline in the night, which would make stomach acid come into her throat. It’s difficult for her to sleep on an incline in a hotel. We tried to put pillows under the head of our mattress, but it’s a king size and it was too much for us, so we just put a lot of pillows under her head.

We were supposed to go meet Sen. Markwayne Mullin this morning but we canceled that and instead are just hanging around in the hotel. I’ve been working on the programs for the show at the theater this weekend. She just woke up (it’s almost 11) but hasn’t made any moves to get up yet.

Our dear kitty Nutmeg passed away in the night. Ben gave us the sad news this morning. Nutmeg was pretty old and had been having some health issues so at least she is at peace now. She was a wonderful kitty, and I would say the smartest cat I have ever known.

A peach and gray calico cat wearing a paper crown.

Nutmeg in her heyday.

Washington DC

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Yesterday Belinda and I flew into Washington DC and today we went to Children’s National for her procedure. It was an endoscopy with possible dilation (they did that). We are here because she still goes to the pediatric surgeons that performed the POEM procedure for her achalasia.

So yesterday we got to the room and didn’t want to do anything. After a while we bundled up and walked to Domino’s and got pizza. Belinda did not wear gloves and her hands were so cold! I considered giving her mine and then I did not.

Beautiful view from our hotel room

This morning we called an uber and got to the hospital early. We went to see the chapel and the Healing Garden, which were underwhelming. But I’m glad I saw them because I had wanted to see them for a long time. There is allegedly something on the roof as well, but I wasn’t brave enough to try to find that.

We were in the waiting room for a really long time. I wrote a poem that didn’t rhyme, after an abandoned yellow crayon under a chair piqued my interest.

Waiting

Anyway, I made a bunch of notes of the day, mostly so I can keep the facts straight and remember which doctors and nurses worked on her (which came in very handy today with the phlebotomist).

Belinda told Dr. Kane that she had no symptoms and every thing was good and I told her to really tell him, and then she talked about how things were getting stuck sometimes and how she was having spasms. He told her that stress can make achalasia worse. So when she was unable to swallow in the cafeteria at school, that made her have to regurgitate, which made her even more anxious the next time. I am very thankful the school released her from the meal plan. I cook and freeze meals for her, and she makes herself an egg for breakfast every day.

Anyway. The nurse came and talked and talked. She was very nice but it was a long chat! We were both getting tired. Then the anesthesiologist came in, and he checked out Belinda’s veins and then she said not my hands, please, and he said what about your foot and she said sure and I DIED but he got it onthe first try and Belinda wasn’t even bothered. I felt nauseated but made it.

Shot in the foot time

Dr. Petrosyan came by to say hi. He and Dr. Kane are both her surgeons, and they performed the POEM together. Her last scope and dilation was also with them. Today Dr. Petrosyan was the surgeon who was doing all the emergency surgeries. We talked about languages a little with him. He knows Armenian, Russian, and English. He’s very smart!

So it took a bit longer because the consent form didn’t include the dilation, and so the nurse couldn’t let her go to the OR until that was fixed. So Dr. Kane fixed it, Belinda signed it. She was glad to get to sign it twice because she got her digital signature to look better the second time.

Dr. Kane said everything looked great and the dilation they did was very small, but they of course did it while they were in there. It looks like it went from 9.4 mm at the narrowest point to 12.0 mm. So that will be nice for her.

We got an uber back to the room and I had thought we might go to the Botanical Gardens this evening but she just wanted to order food and rest. So we got fettuccine and had it delivered. I’ve never done that before and the cost was horrible. Too cold to walk tonight though, and getting an uber would have been more expensive.

Tomorrow we are supposed to meet a senator in the morning. Then the art museum or library of congress or natural history. I’m letting her lead.

Catch-up

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Well I got very behind on my December journaling. But now Belinda has had her procedure, we are up on the ninth floor of the Washington Plaza Hotel, and I thought I could at least attempt to do this thing again. My last day to do the journaling calendar was Dec. 10 and now it’s Dec. 16, which honestly isn’t as bad as I thought it was. So.

Day 11: List as many places you went as you can think of, no matter how close or far.

I actually went quite a few places this year. Thinking, however is generally more difficult. I remember going to Branson with Krislyn, Karlene, and Belinda because Krislyn was invited to come dance there. That was very cool. Most of the family went to Milburn to have a remembrance service for Sarah’s stepmom. And Karlene and I went to several away football games to support Sarah in the band. Then to Alva several times, and now Belinda and I are in Washington DC. I’m going to go back and look at my facebook and see what I forgot.

A fire truck is going through traffic circle that our room overlooks and it was so loud that I got up and looked!

Anyway, back to the travels. In January, it wasn’t really a trip but I did go to Yukon several times as Bennett got married to Mia. It wasn’t a trip but it was so very important!

In March we went to Roman Nose State Park in Watonga and hiked and geocached. It was just one day during spring break but was horrible and also fun.

Alva in April. Krislyn and I also walked 10.4 miles in one day on the OKC trails. That definitely counts as somewhere I went.

We went to Lindsay quite a bit, which felt like traveling because it was a long way. Belinda’s co-op met there and I might have opted out if it hadn’t been senior year. I’m glad we did it! I love all those people. Also, I got to visit that non-grocery-store-Walmart and that was nice and nostalgic.

June was when we went to Branson! We also went to see David at Sight and Sound Theatre and played dinosaur mini golf. It was an extremely good time.

Ben and Belinda and I went to Gatlinburg, Tenn. in June for Belinda’s last dance nationals. It was difficult and we used credit cards to make it happen, but I couldn’t bear to not let Belinda do her last year of competition. We did make a lot of good memories. We walked a lot, went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not and the Ripley Aquarium, played mini golf, visited the Great Smoky Mountains State Park, went to the Gatlinburg library, and did other fun stuff along with dancing. That was a really good time. I never posted on facebook about it because I was waiting for the professional pics and when they came I still didn’t get around to doing it. Maybe I’ll make a post soon about it. I really should.

We were back in Alva a few times in August, to get Belinda’s adjustable bed moved in properly and also to drop her off at the dorms.

Karlene and I started going to away games for football in September. We went to Noble and ate at Kendall’s for the first time. We also went to Deer Creek and Yukon to watch band competitions and we went to Alva again, for Family Day.

October was Milburn, and we also went to band competitions in Edmond and Elgin. Karlene and I went to football games in Tecumseh and also Madill (we stayed the night there at a weird motel). Homecoming at Alva was also in October. We came in second in the medallion hunt!

And now it’s December and Belinda and I are in DC. We are here for two more nights and we are happy to be here but also really want to be at home.

So that was very very long to be part one of FIVE in a catch-up post. And I also wanted to write about how the procedure went today. Maybe I’ll just do one more.

Day Twelve: Milestones, traditions, and events you celebrated.

Bennett and Mia got married.
Belinda graduated from high school.
Belinda started college.
Lenora and Ben had their one-year anniversary.
Sarah came to live with us!
We celebrated Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I’m sure a few others, as we always tend to do.
And the Tuttle Tigers won state and Karlene and I were there screaming in the stands and freezing our hind ends off! That was cool.

Day Thirteen: People you had dinner with.

Well, that’s odd. Ben. Lenora. Ben R. Bennett. Mia. Belinda. Sarah. Mom. Karlene. Krislyn. Kevin. Gary. Will. I know I ate lunch with Rachel once. We hosted the wedding rehearsal dinner with pizza and big salads, so we did eat with everyone who was in the wedding party. We had Adam over for lunch once. I think the church lunch thing fizzled out sometime in the spring, but before that we had many of the kids’ friends. Those were fun times.

Day Fourteen: Recount the first three memories that come into your head from the year.

Hmm. Branson. Bennett and Mia’s wedding. Belinda going to college.

Day Fifteen: Describe an ordinary day from the year and what about it you enjoyed.

I’m not sure what days I remember that were ordinary. I tend to remember the things that are memorable. And what makes a day extraordinary? One day the kids came over and worked in the yard and I wasn’t there and when I came back the sidewalk was really edged and when the sidewalk is edged it makes me feel super happy. I think about that every time I walk up the sidewalk and I feel very loved.

Day Sixteen: Identify five of your favorite photos from the year on your phone.

That is a lot of photos. I take a lot of photos. I guess I will look at the ones I tagged favorites.

That didn’t take as long as I thought it would.

Tension headaches

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So I guess I’ve been having tension headaches. I have been waking up with a headache for at least a week now, and it fades but doesn’t ever go away. Excedrin migraine doesn’t seem to do anything. So today I consulted chatgpt (I know it’s terrible…I know!) but I can’t seem to find anything else that can help me with Belinda and my medical issues and also any legal and financial type things. I know I have to double check what it says but it’s just like the best search engine ever that is also wiping out the rain forests, UGH.

So now that my AI confession is out of the way…it told me to do several things, including letting my jaw hang and I was all, how do I do that? So it turns out I have been clenching my jaw and I guess the headache came from that after a while. I finally had to support my jaw with my palms and exhale again and again until I felt it dropping. Apparently it should have taken 2-3 breaths to get it to drop but mine held tight until 7 and took two more to fully relax. Now I’ve gotten my earphone sleep mask wrapped under my chin, trying to give my jaw a break.

My Ehlers-Danlos expresses as being very tight and clenched all over. This is because my body is subconsciously trying to hold all my loose joints together. So that makes things worse, I guess.

Anyway, after getting my jaw to unlock like that, my headache faded away to almost nothing.

I had no idea that was a thing, or that my headaches and pressure in my head were related to how I hold my jaw. My jaw is nice now. Kind of when you are in a warm pool of water and you can just relax everything. Ahhhh. The only issue is my brain keeps wanting to tighten it again, so I’m having to consciously stop it and remind it that the strap is doing the work right now.

I feel like an anthropologist studying myself when this kind of thing happens. It’s interesting to see how my health and mental issues trace back to my undiagnosed history.

A moment you felt proud this year and why

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Here we are again, for another day of “December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year.”

A moment you felt proud this year and why.

I can tell you that when I first read this, I thought of something for one of the kids. And then I thought of something for another one. And then I realized I could never write down just one thing that I was proud of the children this year. So I had to do something else.

I guess the thing that was the hardest to accomplish this year has been the huge Sarah birth certificate fiasco. I was very proud to hold that birth certificate in my hand, and very proud to hold Sarah’s driver’ permit in my hand as well!

I don’t know what else. This has been such a year of ups and downs! Anyway…pride goeth before a fall so maybe I should just cool it.

Three things you wouldn’t change about the year, no matter what

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It’s the 10th and I’m backdating again. I remembered when I was in bed last night and I definitely decided to stay right where I was!

So here we go with the Dec. 9 edition of “December Journaling If You Feel Like You Haven’t Achieved Much This Year.”

Three things you wouldn’t change about the year, no matter what.

I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. I think that all things work together for the good of those who love God. I love God so it’s all for my good. Now, my good might not be what I want at the time, but again and again it has proved to have been good for me later. We will not understand everything this side of eternity, but someday. I know that God knows what’s best and I trust Him completely.

So, with that in mind, I can’t really pick three things I wouldn’t change about the year. But I can put three things that I definitely am glad about – I’m thankful for all the time I got to spend with my family this year. I’m thankful for how God has taken care of us again and again during this time of trial. I’m thankful for my home and my bed and my table and the people I get to share life with!

One week to go

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A week from today will be Monday, Dec. 15, and Belinda and I will be traveling to Washington DC again for another follow up procedure. Her pediatric surgeons will be doing an endoscopy and will probably also do some dilation or other tweaks to the surgery, based on what they see in there. That will be on Dec. 16.

I am looking forward to seeing Dr. Kane and Dr. Petrosyan again. They are both so kind and they care so much about their patients. It is amazing to see how committed they are to helping kids with pediatric achalasia! I am glad that even though she is 18 now, she can continue to be their patient for the time being. This is the very best course of action to prevent end-stage achalasia and esophagectomy.

The spellchecker on wordpress has alerted me that esophagectomy may not be a word, but unfortunately it is. Anyway, that is the surgical removal of the esophagus. If things go as we’re hoping and praying, she will never get to that point. Please keep this in your prayers!

The surgery was originally planned for Dec. 17, but they needed to change it because of some kind of work being done on their surgical suites. So instead of us leaving on the 16th, we’ll leave on the 15th. The worst part about that is that we will be missing Sarah’s first band concert, and I really wanted to be there to support her. I’m going to try to facetime, but of course that isn’t the same. I’ve asked the rest of the family to do their best to go, which I think will make up somewhat for me not being there, but she does really want me to be at her activities first and foremost and I want to do that for her! I know she will understand that this couldn’t be fixed, but I hope that she doesn’t have a part of her mind telling her that I chose Belinda over her. It’s difficult because she has had so much loss and disappointments in her life. I just literally got an idea while typing this – maybe the band director would let me sit in class the day before, so I could listen to it live that way! I think he might. I’ll ask him about that (if Sarah wants me to – she also gets embarrassed at being singled out).

So now we have seven days to pack and plan for our absence. I’m always frightened of flying but I know that it’s in God’s hands and I don’t really have control over anything anyway. If it is His will, we will be back home on the 18th, ready for one for weekend of Tuttle Christmas Carol performances and then Christmas!